This Week's Wingnut Reichstag Fire: Renegade Nuns with Ballots!

Reichstag Fire, February 27th, 1933

The wingnuts are all enflamed that the Kloppenburg campaign has challenged the absentee ballots of a group of cloistered nuns because the nuns failed to follow the absentee ballot process (they failed to provide witness signatures on their ballots, a violation of GAB rules for absentee ballots).  How dare Kloppenburg enforce the rules on nuns!  How dare she challenge these votes!  In fact, the wingnuts are exploiting these nuns for their own political ends.  But then who's really surprised?

A local radio "personality" (I use that term in the loosest possible sense) is attempting to gin up this faux controversy with an hysterical "call to arms" for wingnuts across the Badger State.  He even invokes the ghost of Glenn Beck with the pattented phrase "I am not making this up" before telling his enthralled listeners that these nuns manufacture the communion wafers. Communion wafers! My goodness, how special!  As if their occupation somehow exempts them from following the rules the rest of us have to follow.  And the rule is very, very clear:

Uniform Instructions for Absentee Voters

1. Read and follow the instructions for completing the ballot carefully. Mistakes may spoil your ballot.
2. Complete the ballot in the presence of one (1) witness. The witness cannot be a candidate at the election and must be an adult U.S. citizen. The witness must verify that the individual completed the absentee ballot, but should not view the voter’s choices.
3. Refold the ballot and place inside the certificate envelope.
4. Complete the elector information section on the certificate envelope, and sign the certificate. One witness must sign the certificate and provide his/her address.
5. If the municipal clerk has already completed the elector information, the elector must still sign the certificate, and one witness must sign the certificate and provide his/her address.
6. Seal the certificate envelope.
7. If you make an error while marking your ballot, spoil your ballot, or require a replacement ballot, contact your municipal clerk immediately. You must return your original ballot and certificate envelope before a replacement ballot will be issued. No replacement ballots are mailed after the 5th day preceding Election Day. If you require a replacement ballot after the 5th day preceding Election Day, you must return the original ballot and certificate envelope in person to the municipal clerk. You will be required to vote your replacement absentee ballot in the municipal clerk’s office.
8. Return the ballot (in the certificate envelope) in time for distribution to the polling place. If you have questions about the deadline for returning your ballot, contact the municipal clerk. No late ballots are accepted.

The black, beating heart of this sad little argument is the whine that the local election official "never made them do this before!"  Yes, past failures to enforce the rules should excuse present and future failures in process.  "Well you didn't catch me speeding yesterday, officer, so I you can't catch me today!"

Then the real reason for this screed materialize, the wingnut whine that "democracy costs money!" Get a load of this:

This is why Kloppenburg’s goons justify a million dollar (plus) recount…to make sure the votes of nuns are counted.

Folks, I am not making this up...  The right will exploit nuns to make political hay.